Grief, Grieving n Gift

Let the pain sink, grieve and let it go. Dying is one of the painful realities of life that man would not dare to confront and much more to experience. But we all do, in one way orthe other, are given a chance to measure ourselves on how do we handle dying and death. Scream as you may want. Hurl words that only heavens can understand. That is one's privelege. But of course, nothing will change.

I remembered when my brother died years ago. The moment I saw him lying on bed, I threw my bag, run to him, hug him and begged my mother to name the child in her womb Roy, in memory of my brother. We grew up together, shared and quarelled with one bike, teased one another and competed from the attention of our parents. Eldest as I am, I won most of the time. But I knew, my parents heart are for him. Weeks after we laid him to rest there was no night that we dont wake up and cry. We wanted him back. Instead, we contended ourselves with his pictures.

Today, I still long for him. I still ask the question why him? Why that early? There were so many missed moments that we were not able to share. Mind you, I still cry when I remember him today. For how could I not? He was such a good boy, better than me.And he could have been married today, with kids and living a wonderful life.

But grieving and grief are also gifts more than a curse. They are gifts to ourselves to understand the process of life. They serve as our tools to remember more, love more, cherish more and hold on more to the memory of our loved one. The deeper the grieving, the more loving you become. The painful the leaving, the more human you become. It is the letting go that makes it easier to cope life. It is the letting go that drives us to live for others.

There is pain, for there is so much love.