LIST OF THANKS

Brothers and Sisters:

We are happy to announce that our campaign to support the plight of the Fuentivillas has generated a significant response from many generous and magnanimous hearts. As approved by the Board of Directors of VAI, the Committee on Special Relief Services has requested that the money generated from the Fund Drive in the amount of $2,655.00 be released and transmitted to our beneficiary, the Fuentivillas. As of this moment, Fr. Ed Jocson is facilitating and coordinating the electronic transmittal of these funds to the Fuentivillas via the ACM Philippines account.

We have attached herein a list of our donors . It is not our intent to publicize the goodness of their hearts nor to trumpet their acts of kindness. But for transparency of our activities, we are obliged to do so. For those who in one way or the other have requested to remain anonymous, we respected their request to remain so. We will continue to receive donations and will transmit them as they come. Lastly, let us continue to pray for one of our own and his family.

Thank you for your generosity. And as for the Lord's generosity to you, we know that His can never be outdone.

SLEEPLESS, UNSETTLED

That’s what we are for the past 3 nights. Things are getting tough just days before Jaz goes back to work. Coco seems to have fastidious hours he likes to call “wailing hours”, and that is from 11 pm to 2 am.

I don’t know but it seems when my colleagues at Wal-Mart asked me ‘How’s the baby doing?”, they themselves know the answer: he needs food every two hours, he cries a lot, and he does not give his parents enough sleep. Is it a universal phenomenon that from the first few months, the baby is fuzzy and pushy?

We were trying to remember (I personally) if that was the case when Zach was just a baby. But I don’t remember. All I could compare now is, Zach goes to sleep at 9:00, while Coco starts revving up.

And when things become chaotic, all you could desire to have is a life at home, with all the Yaya’s pitching for help and you having a regular and undisturbed sleep. We sometimes kid ourselves when the two seems uncontrollable, we would say, “Inday, i-hele mo nga yang si Coco at si Zach bigyan mo ng gatas.” But, it would echo back to us, of course.

Sleepless, unsettled that’s what we are. Jaz from being at home and caring the two “wonderful” boys most of the time and me from working overnights.

Can we get out from this? Can we beat this without sacrificing a bit of our insanity? Of course! They will grow and they will find their peace. Only that’s not going to be THIS TIME!.

Yap, sleepless, unsettled but joy comes in when both of them are silent, when Coco gives a rare smile and when Zach says “ Abadibadah”.

But of course, we keep Tylenol and coffee handy most of the times.

It is said that the baby’s first uttered words is the 8th wonder of the world (Brian Williams, NBC). We don’t care, so long as we hear some words. We are now in the stage of parenthood where we would always wait for the words (if you can call it) that would come out from Zach. And in this department, he seems to be slow. Perhaps it is because he has to learn two languages (not counting Hiligaynon and Bicol), English and Tagalog. His pediatrician suggested to us that since we are bilingual, one of us should speak to him in Tagalog, and one in English. For a time we followed that scheme, but, sometimes we lose our boundary and mind and kind of speak to him bilingually also.

Last summer, while we were in the park, the family of one of our classmates in birth class was there. Their daughter was on the swing. They were probably 10 minutes ahead of us there that after re-introducing ourselves and sharing our birth stories they bid goodbye. While their daughter was still on the swing, they asked her if she wants to come down. She nodded but her mother asked her to say “Please!!!.” Our eyes were all on her, and when she slowly opened her lips and uttered the sweet-crisp “Please!!!”, all I could care about was the reaction of Jaz. The minute they left, Jaz panicked and told Zach about what had happened. She pointed out to him that since he is older than her (by days), he should have spoken clearly also.

Well, we can only hope. And the hope is paying. From the simply Manamana (read: I need food) to a more difficult Dabidi-bidaaa (which we are still trying to decipher), now Zach has far more sophisticated language than we can imagine or not.

We have realized that he is more into actions than to words, he loves to dance the Sesame Street theme and when he hears the background music of Star Patrol of Phoemela Barranda (?), boy, he is drawn to it. We enjoy the moment when he acts out the song, “I love you, you love me” of Barny and Friends because he would grab our arms, give us five, and hug us just what like the scene shows. No amount of words can beat that.

Hence, we realized that it is not Zach who is drawn to our language but the other way around. We are the one who are speaking his language, and catching the meaning of every word he utters or gobbles.

Right now, we are contented with Dabidi-bida and Manamana, and that is enough, considering the sleepless and unsettled experience we are in now for being a brand new parents again.

POSTPARTUM

Giving birth here is a breeze. Once a mother-to-be is ready for labor, she just has to come to the hospital, ask for the maternity department, register at the desk and presto a room is given to you, no question ask. (Pre-registering months before giving birth is much cooler).

If you are the support person, it is easier. Once the mother-to-be is settled on bed, given an IV, monitors are attached all you have to do is sit, turn on the TV and wait for the intense contraction to come paving the way for the breaking of the bag of water and the coming of the baby.

But it is more than meets the eye.

I saw Jaz to be comfortable lying on bed (with oxygen mask on). From time to time, I checked her situation and he would reply that she is okay and doing fine. I knew, because the first time she was in the same situation more than a year ago, that was a breeze too.

Twenty-five past 12 a.m on September 2003, Dr. Patibandla and two nurses came to ready Jaz for giving birth. Fifty minutes past 12, with two push and prayers, Jaz gave birth to a 6.10 lbs baby we named Xandrei. After 2 days in the hospital we went home without any glitch.

But last night, over dinner of sinigang na manok with malungay (there is another story about this) and lumpiang shanghai, she told me a story that has a chilling effect on me even until this time.

Jaz told me that when I was asking her if she was doing fine while she was on labor, she in fact, was experiencing trouble breathing. She experienced shortness of breath and was thinking how much she had in her life insurance. She told me that if something happens, she is quite comfortable that she have enough amount for the education of the two.

I have never felt that at all. All I saw was a very courageous Jaz easily pushing before the baby came.

But it is indeed more than meets that eye.

So my (our) plan that we have XYZ children is now forever gone. (Why XYZ, well, Zach is the Z, Xandrei is the X and Yasmine, is supposed to be the Y).

From a mere statistical reading about maternal or infant mortality to a real experience, I came to realize how dangerous it is give birth. It looks easy but it sure is not. It is more than meets the eye.

I maybe am uragon, but SVP is right, live a life in moderation.

COCO'S COMING

From nine months to nine days… or less. That’s the amount of time we have to wait before Coco comes. Except for anything that is out of our hand, everything is ready. Two weeks ago we have “remodeled” the other room to suit his coming. Zach and I transferred to another shack and made a room for ourselves. The crib and all its bling-bling was set, newborn diapers purchased, baby clothes and colognes readied, cleaned and installed the infant seat to Sienna. Sitting beside Coco’s backpack are our separates bags, ready to be grabbed once Jaz breaks her water bag.

But still the anxiety remains there. Who has not experienced this? Coco’s coming maybe is Jaz’s second but he is not just like popping out like hen’s egg. It entails a lot of “ one, two, three push and breath, and push and breath and pray”. Unlike giving birth in Bulacao, where one can’t see the graphic symbolism of contraction in the monitor, here, it is very different. Although the technology reveals to you what is going on, yet sometimes it adds to the horror of giving birth. Good if the monitor shows the wave-like graphics of contraction, but that is only the beginning. Once the monitor shows the sharp edged-electric-like graphics that is the sign for you to be serious. Although we have attended a child birth class last time, yet in the end, Jaz ended up asking for the most sought after pain killer “epidural”.

So, anything can happen and we would only pray for the best. (We even checked the probability of Coco’s sex after one of my co-worker told me the story of her friend’s baby whom they thought to be a boy [as what the ultrasound said] but came out as a baby girl). To be honest, all we got for now is a name for a baby boy, Xandrei. We only hope that the ultrasound is right.

Far from home, with only the two of us, here we are again venturing into the life of addition. But as the saying goes, “you have do what you gonna do.”

What can you do? Pray for a safe delivery and a healthy baby.

THE PHENOMENOLOGY OF HUGGIES AND OTHER DIAPERS

For married couples, the clashing of parental authorities always occurs in any dimension of married life, sometimes in the most unexpected realm. But you would not always surrender your wounded ego until you have seen how stupid have you become by holding on to your resolved of untested belief. My story happened on our way back to Ohio from Florida.

Minutes from boarding our last plane from Charlotte when Jaz “suggested” to me of changing Zach’s diaper. Feeling tired from running after Zach, who felt ecstatic in riding the airport’s walkalator (we probably made 5 trips), I reasoned out the shortness of flight in declining Jaz’s “suggestion” (it will take us only 45 minutes to reach Canton, Ohio).

The boarding was very on time and we were able to settle on our seats minutes after boarding. Zach was very silent and enjoyed the sight of passengers boarding the plane. Soon the plane slowly taxiing the tarmac and I was very excited to rest while waiting from the flight attendant’s water and peanuts (and you say this is America), Then all of a sudden the Captain broke the silence with his chilling news, “we will not be able to take off for the next 45 minutes.” “There goes my rest”, I told myself, while looking for Zach’s wandering eyes.

As I was praying that Zach would not take advantage of the very sensitive situation, there he was starting to look for something that would entertain him.

When you are a parent, you should be “very creative” to device a tool (any tool) of entertainment. And so we thought. We started from showing him the clouds’ formation (span of attention – 40 seconds), other planes taking off (2 minutes), fire truck (1 minute), window shutting up and down (30 seconds), singing Elmo ( 2 minutes) videocam (5 minutes). Thanks that before I started making myself funny in front of Zach, the plane started to move forward again and with God’s grace, took off. We were relieved.

However, 20 minutes after take off, Zach started “complaining” again. We tried deciphering his “concern” but we were not lucky. Soon he stared wailing, and soon after the passengers around us were giving us the stares and smiles of “could you make him shut”. Not long after, the bitch old lady in seat no. 2 started looking back at us in a very consistent and timely manner.

Although we took turns of cuddling him, yet Zach would not stop. Jaz “suggested” me to stand up and walk with Zach on the plane. I was on my way to stand up (Zach was with me), when Zach threw up, all over my right shoulder and in my seat. Fortunately, Jaz was fast enough to clean the “mess” and doused the “ohhss and ahhhsss” of the passengers near us.

I immediately walked out of our seat and went to the flight attendant’s quarter where I was able to walk Zach a little and got a little breather. But he continued to whine and cry.

Soon Jaz started reminding me of her diaper’s suggestion while we were still in the lounge. Amenable as I was, yet my arms are tied this time, I can’t go the restroom, the way was blocked by the flight attendant who is still distributing “refreshments”. Feeling helpless and tired (from the stares of the passengers), I went back to my seat, held Zach firmly and changed his diaper right then and there. Seconds after, Zach stopped crying, asked for his milk (which he doesn’t want to drink a while ago), and doused off.

For the next minutes, I was very relieved. Jaz was brimming with smile, as if telling me, “I told you so!” Point taken.

Communications sometimes are more subtle but the after effect is so huge. Listen even if you don’t want to. Little did I realize that Zach’s comfort would be our comfort too!

COOLING OFF SUMMER

This is one of the best months of the year. Shrouded from sun’s soothing scanning for the last six months, summer is an exhilarating experience no one in the East Coast wants to miss. That’s why long time before the last days of the spring, they would map out the places they would go to, mow and comb their lawn, buy new grill, and choose their new bathing/swimming suit.

At last, summer is here. Nothing beats summer in the East Coast. It is the water that quenches the "dryness" of winter


Hence it is very typical that you see some of them, comes summer time, in their backyard pool,. That is what Zach did last Memorial Day. He was invited to pool party by Fayth (Beccas’ daughther).


We came late though. Fayth was already soaked both in water and in the sun.when we arrived. She was basking in her pink bathing suit enjoying her summer freedom. Zach lost no time and eventually joined the pretty Fayth in the pool for the next 4 hours. He didn’t mind the presence of his presence(who devoured the pizza, ice cream and fruit salad) while he indulged himself with Fayth and water.

It was only a quarter past the hours of 8 when we called it quits. Not because it was already too late for Zach to go home, but it was too late for me to put the liempo and steak on the grill. And for sure the chilled cold beer will surely miss me.

THAT'S DIRTY

This morning, whhen Zach is about to have his breakfast, he was doing his normal morning routine of picking up anything on the floor. When he stopped and picked up something underneath the table, we immediately rushed to him to find out what he was picking up. Zach has a simple fascination to black objects. This time, it was the donut crumbs. As normally what a parent would do, I told him, "that's dirty." And eventually taking out the crumb from his hand. Suddenly,he uttered some words, gibbirish, but understandble,"that's dirty." We were quite amazed for he was able to repeat what I have uttered. Biased as we were, yet, Jaz fully heared that also. We know, however, that he will not be able to say it again.

Zach is in his fascination stage. He likes to experiment with things. He likes going out, even if the weather outside is chilly. He giggles a lot, especially when he sees children or babies. He likes to smile a lot even to people unknown to him.

It is unfortunate, however, that up to this time, he can't say the word, MOMMY.